The Story of Chocolate

You’ve only gone and invented a new chocolate!

How amazing is that? A delicious, deep and agreeable treat that, though fresh and exciting, feels like the kind of thing any chocolate-lover would be eager to try. And who knows, it might just grow to become the nation’s favourite chocolate. But first you need some help.

So along you trot to the country’s biggest chocolate producer. Having sent some samples and sycophantically discussed how great their chocolate is, sweet-talked them if you will, you finally get to meet somebody in charge. Let’s call them Joy. And, calm-your-beating heart, Joy likes your chocolate!

Being the expert that Joy is, she knows it’s not perfect. She suggests a couple of changes. Some of these suggestions are intended to improve the quality of the chocolate, others to make it more appealing to the public. After working on the chocolate by yourself for so long, this input is like gold dust. Here is a person who deals exclusively in chocolate. They’ve developed and created some of the best-loved chocolate over the years. They really know chocolate. And they really want to make yours.

How excited are you? All that hard work, all that massaging of crazy ideas, all those ingredients that needed balancing. And now, thanks to a combination of your own talent and the intelligent mentoring of a leading authority on chocolate, you are on the brink of unleashing your creation on the world.

There’s only one thing.

For reasons that no-one can quite explain, this giant company, this behemoth that makes most of the country’s chocolate, operates what they call a “two tick system”. Your chocolate expert Joy has a boss. Let’s call them Jonah. And no matter how enthusiastic, how berserk, how damned sure Joy is about your chocolate, nothing happens until Jonah rubberstamps it. And Jonah is not an expert in chocolate.

You see…. the company makes more than simply chocolate. Much more. Consequently, Jonah is in charge of a lot of departments, all with their own Joys, all trying to convince Jonah of their favourite projects.

But poor Jonah can’t be an expert in everything. That’s not his job. He might dislike chocolate. He may only enjoy one particular style of chocolate. Whatever. The bottom line is that the system demands he give a “second tick” to any project before it can go ahead, no matter how convinced his departmental experts are.

And guess what? Jonah doesn’t like your chocolate. Sorry

You feel betrayed. You and the head of the chocolate department both worked hard on the chocolate. You both had complete confidence in it. It was a winner. Joy might even whisper that her boss is a no-nothing-dick. But no matter what they call their “two tick system” it’s still a “single tick system”. Jonah has the only tick that matters, and you didn’t get that tick.

Bye bye.

Of course, you now have four choices.

  • Get a new job.
  • Stick your chocolate in a drawer and wait for the day when Jonah is replaced.
  • Take your chocolate elsewhere, but having a chocolate turned down by the biggest supplier is like having a green-nostrilled child sneeze on it.
  • Ditch that chocolate, develop another and start the process again.

And that’s a story of how chocolate is made.

Actually…..what an idiot….no it’s not. Sorry. Here, do this….

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One Response to The Story of Chocolate

  1. Pingback: BBC Scotland vs BBC network | Sniderogue's Rants

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